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Dance Spotlight – Anya Katsevman

Anya Katsevman is featured in this edition of Dance Spotlight! She was born in the Ukraine, but currently lives in New York City.  She was nominated by Brielle Friedman.  Anya is an accomplished dancer who has won multiple latin dance championships and has also performed for President Barack O’Bama. Check out some fun facts and information about Anya including her social dance pet peeves and her thoughts on performing with one of the true legends of salsa dancing, Eddie “The Mambo King’ Torres!

Want to nominate someone to be in the Dance Spotlight? Contact us!

What (or who) originally inspired you to try Latin dancing?

My older brother (Eugene Katsevman) was very inspirational to me and he started dancing as a child.  It was something he did as a hobby at first, but eventually he began to take dance very seriously.  I ended up going with him to lessons because it was easier on my parents for me to be with him.

Describe an accomplishment in your dance career that has made you proud.

Being a two-time world champion is always going to be at the top of the list because that’s a dream I had ever since I started dancing. It’s the epitome of what a dancer can achieve in the competitive field of latin dance.  Reaching that milestone was the turning point in my career and I felt that I had made it, and I realized that I could be a dancer for the rest of my life.  Beyond the recognition, that was a very proud moment because I feel that striving to be a dancer as a profession is always perceived as a hardship. At least that’s how it was presented to me – something that was hard to do as a career.  I felt like I needed that accolade in order to justify that dancing is a safe profession to have.

What did you find most rewarding about competing?

Competing, for me, has never been about being compared to others as much as it is a way to track my own progress.  I think competing is an extremely easy way to track how you’re improving. It’s a very useful tool. Also, when you’re competing you tend to put in a different kind of effort because you’re going to be compared to others – so there is more responsibility put on yourself.  It forces you to have a different work ethic and you take it a lot more seriously when it’s a competition versus a show. For me, competing helped me to stay motivated.

 

What advice would you give to someone who wants to follow in your footsteps and become a professional dancer/instructor?

It’s perfectly safe to have that dream and I wouldn’t allow anyone to take it away from you.  There are many avenues and paths to be a professional dancer.  If your dream is to be in this creative field, there are many ways that it can manifest itself.  Don’t be closed minded to one specific track, but pay attention to what you enjoy the most and be OK with what that might be.  For some people, being a dancer means to be onstage, for others they’d like to teach, while others may want to be judge competitions or perhaps coach.

There are so many avenues to be a successful dancer and make a living. As long as you’re open to everything and don’t give up on the dream, then you will find a place to belong.  Treat dance as professionally as you would anything that has a structural path. One of the hardships in having a creative job is that there is no structural path.  There is no degree to be had.  There is no universally accepted validation.  You have to pave your own educational path and create your own resourced based ‘school’ for yourself.  All of that feeds into how you feel about your career and helps you to pursue whatever path may be for you.

What are your social dance pet peeves?

I love latin dancing for the partnering aspect. For me, it’s always a pleasure to be in the masculine/feminine role while dancing. When I share a dance with someone, I really find it distasteful when the dance isn’t about interaction, but about something else. It’s a pet peeve if someone asks me to dance just to test my skills or to practice their moves and there is no connection or sharing.

Who do you find inspirational as a dancer?

I grew up in my brothers footsteps and he’s always inspired me because he has overcome a lot of adversity.  He’s fought for his ability to be a dancer.  When we first immigrated to The States there was very little ballroom dancing for young people and he helped pave the way for that community to grow because he wanted to dance.  Nothing was going to stop him.  I feel fortunate because the structure that I outlined earlier doesn’t exist for some, but for me it did exist because I had my brother to look up to.  He won championships and started coaching and I realized that was a path that I could follow.

Recently, I’ve been most inspired by my students.  Watching people from all walks of life following their dreams and succeeding is very rewarding and I’m privileged to see that process.

What’s one goal you still would like to achieve as a dancer?

I’m consistently striving to expand my horizons and have a bigger network of places where I can contribute my talents and do my job.

What’s it like performing with one of the icons of salsa dancing, Eddie “The Mambo King” Torres?

It’s nothing short of a dream. I don’t mean to sound cliche, but he’s truly the epitome of what a successful artist should be.  He’s extremely hard working, kind and generous.  He’s very good at being himself, yet he’s very diverse as well.  Talent, movement, rhythm, passion all pore out of him, but he’s very humble and so generous.  He’s a great example of leadership and how success can influence someone to give back and be generous. Sharing the stage with someone so talented is wonderful and it’s an incredible feeling to be part of that energetic exchange.  His incredible masculine, rhythmical prowess is extremely liberating.  For me, he embodies the perfect role model of how a person on top should behave. It was a great experience for me as a human, as a dancer, as a teacher and as a choreographer. He’s still very passionate and is as driven as he’s been at any point of his career.

Dance Spotlight – Carlos Cinta

Carlos Cinta is featured in this edition of Dance Spotlight! Carlos is one of the world’s most popular Bachata instructors due to his incredible knowledge, fun-loving personality and teaching style, and his passion for bachata music and culture.  He was born in San Francisco, but currently lives in Chicago.  He was nominated by Jason Haynes.  Check out some fun info. about Carlos including his first memories of bachata, his advice for someone who wants to teach dance and his Super Bowl pick!

Want to nominate someone to be in the Dance Spotlight? Contact us!

What are your first memories of bachata?

I would go to clubs with the girl I was dating at the time and I didn’t know how to dance bachata. She did.  I would see her dancing bachata and I thought that was pretty cool.  It went from ‘This is a sweet dance’ to ‘Yo, my man, that’s my girl.  Why are you dancing so close?’ I needed to learn how to dance so I could get close to my girl on the dance floor instead of other guys.  I was like, ‘Can I get close to my girl too?’

Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems most traveling instructors are male/female combos. Any particular reason(s) why you’ve remained a solo instructor?

There are plenty of women that are great dancers, but the question is if they can teach.  I refuse to have someone who can’t teach as my partner because it’s going to make us look bad.  There are going to be women/followers asking certain questions and my partner would need to know how to explain proper technique.  I think it’s disgusting how follows are being objectified and certain couples are booked for gigs and the female partner never says a word.  She’s there for her looks and big backside.  I’m not doing that.   If I have a partner, she is going to talk just as much as I do.

You’re a DJ as well as a dance instructor. What are your current favorite songs to play at socials/festivals? Top two or three…

I don’t have any particular favorites. Every crowd is different so you have to get a feel for the vibe.  Some crowds are more ‘conservative’ while others you can get a little more ‘ratchet’ with them.  Songs have different styles and vibes, so it really depends on the crowd.  My favorite genre is merengue. Instead of my favorite songs, I’ll give you my favorite genre.  I’m sorry, I changed the question.  No, I’m not. Ha.  What I really love to play for dancers is merengue.

Well that leads right into my next question – you’re a big fan of merengue – why do you think it hasn’t caught on at festivals/events?

Promoters tell their DJ’s not to play it, so DJs don’t play it and students don’t learn the dance or hear the music – therefore nobody likes it.  I think a lot of dancers/students don’t have a good feel for what they like. They’re influenced by others saying what they prefer and so they choose not to like merengue as well.  It’s like racism in that it’s a learned behavior.  Dancers know nothing about the music or culture and it’s portrayed as an easy/stupid dance.  Most dancers have never been around a group of people who love the music and enjoy it, so until that changes people will continue to dislike it.

Describe an accomplishment in your dance career that made you proud.

The fact that I’m able to travel the world to share my passion for teaching dance.  It’s definitely a blessing.  When I first started dancing I never thought about being a teacher or wanting to teach, but it ended up happening.  I started locally and then YouTube came along.  I put up one video in 2007 and the next thing you know I’m traveling the world. It’s very surreal to me.

What advice would you have for someone who wants to be a professional latin dance instructor?

Be different! Be unique! There are already thousands of teachers who learned from ‘instructor A’ and they all teach the same exact dance style.  There are thousands of teachers who learned from ‘instructor B’ and they all look the same.  McDonalds, Burger King and Wendy’s all sell burgers, but they all taste different.  If they all tasted the same then we’d only need one burger place.  Same thing with the DJs.  Everyone wants to play ‘DJ so and so’s’ music.  Well that DJ is coming on in one hour, so why are you playing all of this persons music? Play your own stuff.  That’s my advice.  Be different.

On your Facebook page, someone asked you what are the different steps for the various styles of bachata (dominican, modern, sensual, urban, etc) Part of your answer was, “For me…there is no such thing as all those labels.” Why (for you) are all those labels not important in bachata?

I think most dancers follow those labels because they haven’t had much experience dancing outside of certain festivals or a dance studio environment.  I know it may be blasphemous to some, but (in my opinion), the truth is that there aren’t any labels.  It’s all just bachata – not this style or that style.

Dance video(s) you’d like to share?

Carlos didn’t have any particular videos – so we picked one for him :).  In the video Carlos discusses his Bachata Musicality Training Course.  We love this video because it not only features Carlos talking about his training course, but it also gives insight into his fun-loving personality, which is one of the reasons why he’s so beloved in the latin dance world.  The Christmas offer has expired…but the course is still available.

Bonus Question. You’re a big football fan. KC versus San Fran in the Super Bowl. Your pick?

I’m going with San Francisco.  They have a better defense and Andy Reid (Chiefs coach) always chokes. I’m surprised the Chiefs have made it this far. I was irritated because I picked Tennessee to beat Kansas City in the AFC Championship game. San Francisco all the way.

Click on the flyer below to check out Carlos’ website at ccbachata.com.!

Looking for Latin dance events in Chicago? Check out our Chicago Events Calendar

Dance Spotlight – Brielle Friedman

Brielle Friedman is featured in this edition of Dance Spotlight! She is from Florida, but currently lives in New York City.  She was nominated by Jason Haynes.  Check out some fun facts about Brielle including her social dance pet peeves, her favorite places to dance in NYC and her thoughts on competing at the 2020 World Salsa Summit!

Want to nominate someone to be in the Dance Spotlight? Contact us!

What are your first memories of Latin dancing?

The summer after my sophomore year of college I spent five weeks in Guatemala attending a Spanish language school in Quetzaltenango (often known as Xela). About three weeks into my trip, I went to a local club with the school’s coordinator and some of the other students for an introductory Salsa class. Immediately, I liked the music and movements, and then later, when the local dancers showed up and started social dancing, I fell in love with Salsa. One couple in particular really caught my eye. They looked so beautiful and connected as they moved across the floor. I knew at that moment I wanted to be a professional Salsa dancer.

I spent the rest of my trip dancing as much as possible. I’d take private lessons every afternoon, go out social dancing every night until 3 or 4 in the morning, sleep for a few hours, and then head to my language lesson in the morning. That fall, I spent the semester studying abroad in Paris, but all I wanted to do was dance Salsa! I spent hours trying to find classes and socials (this was before social media and all the online Latin dance communities existed in the way they do today). I was living in a tiny apartment and I didn’t really have a place to practice, so I’d go to different bridges on the Seine, put my headphones in, and start dancing. I probably looked insane to Parisians and tourists who walked by, but I didn’t care. I was just so happy moving and getting better at this thing I loved so much.

What I find especially cool about this story is that I’ve seen a lot of the dancers I met during my trip to Guatemala at different dance events and classes in New York and California over the years— entirely unplanned!

You recently competed at the World Salsa Summit…what do you find rewarding about competing?

So many things! I often compare competing, especially at a big event like the World Salsa Summit, to the adrenaline rush you get when skydiving. There’s nothing quite like it. Competing is also a great way to grow as an artist and as a dancer. It gives you a concrete goal to work towards and provides a framework for skill-building––after a competition you know what you need to work on, where you’ve made progress, etc. Every time I compete, I discover a new aspect of myself as a dancer and performer I didn’t know was there before. I’m then able to take that back to the studio or into other performances and gigs. Of course, this can happen when you take class regularly or train with a team, but there’s just something different about the way it happens within the context of competition.

Competing is also a great way to gain performance experience when you’re just starting out, and once you’ve competed, doing a show can feel a lot less nerve-wracking!

What are your current favorite songs to dance to?

I love Salsa Romantica and anything with a strong drum or saxophone sound. Si Tú Me Besas (Victor Manuelle), Vente Negra (Habana con Kola), and Candela (Buena Vista Social Club) are a few of my current favorites. Others favorites include:

Favorite local places in NYC to dance?

I wrote up all my favorite NYC socials on my blog here and all my favorite outdoor summer events here.

(In addition to Brielle’s suggestions, you can also check out the GOLatinDance Event Calendar for New York). 

Describe an accomplishment in your dance career that made you proud.

Dancing in the finals of the Professional On2 division at the 2020 World Salsa Summit. That’s been a goal of mine since the very beginning and the experience was really magical. Not just because I had been dreaming and working towards it for years and it finally happened, but also because I feel like I danced with such joy. I truly enjoyed every part of the experience, from getting ready, to walking on stage, to actually dancing and performing. I felt very present and happy, and I think it shows in my performance. That’s what I want to bring to each and every future show or class.

I’m also just really proud of myself for pursuing and building a dance career in general. When I started, I felt like I was too old to “be a dancer,” that my physical skills would never be strong enough, or that pursuing dance would mean “throwing away” other parts of myself. Letting go of all of those beliefs wasn’t easy, but I did — and keep doing — the emotional work to move through them and give myself permission to be a dancer and to live this life. Now I know I’ll always be reaching for new goals, working on becoming better and stronger, and growing as an artist, but that doesn’t mean I can’t share and fully enjoy where I am right now.

What are your social dance pet peeves?

  • Dancing off-time. I would much rather spend 3 ½ minutes doing on-time basics and cross-body leads than a bunch of off-time, complicated turn patterns.
  • Tons of spins on sticky floors (or when I’m in non-dance shoes with rubber soles and I specifically ask the leader to keep that in mind at the beginning of the dance).
  • Feeling like I’m being pulled or thrown around on the dance floor with no regard for my physical safety.

What dance goals are you still striving to achieve?

Winning a professional category at the World Salsa Summit. Teaching and performing at more events/studios around the world. I started performance classes this year, but I’ve thought about starting a formal performance team, so that might be a future goal. Technically, right now I’m specifically working on my spins and ability to stay connected to myself through my back at all times. I also really believe dance is an insanely powerful tool for practically emotional and physical self-discovery connection with others, and I’d love to find a way to bring this to people who don’t consider themselves dancers in the future.

Dance video(s) you’d like to share?

Our performance in the finals at the 2020 World Salsa Summit and the very first time I competed at the event back in 2015, with my director at the time Luis Aguilar.


One of the best things about dance is how you can physically see the progress you’ve made––I see the differences in my technical, physical skills so much in these two videos. And yet, that woman who walked onto the dance floor in 2015 had a fire in her eyes and the kind of confidence I think only comes from having nothing to lose and no ideas about how anything is or should be. When I feel overwhelmed or out of my element in some way, sometimes I’ll think, “Who was that woman? And where did she go?” It helps me reconnect to that side of myself and remember how much all of this means to me and the passion I have for it.

Dance Spotlight – Cliff Anderson

Cliff Anderson is featured in this edition of Dance Spotlight! He was born and raised in Indiana, but currently lives in Dallas/Fort-Worth.  He was nominated by Darrien Grays. Check out some fun facts about Cliff including what inspired him to try Latin dance!

Want to nominate someone to be in the Dance Spotlight? Contact us!

What are your first memories of dancing salsa? (In class? With friends? At a social?)

My first memories of salsa dancing go back to the first time I stepped into Blackberry’s. For those who don’t know (age spoiler, lol), this spot was crackin’ back in the day, early in the year 2000. My boy Ruben and I would always go, but we were always too shy to dance. We would end up standing there the entire night without dancing because we didn’t really know how, and we didn’t want to ask because we didn’t want to get turned down. After a while, I got tired of watching. I went to the library and rented a VHS tape (another age spoiler) called Red Hot Salsa. I went to sleep at night with the tape on repeat, and practiced the whole time by myself when I got home from work. I didn’t do a lot of classes, though.

What (or who) originally inspired you to try Latin dancing?

I just went to the salsa spot, and saw a lot of people having a blast on the dance floor. For me, that was all of the inspiration that I needed. I mean, it was something that I just wasn’t used to seeing. You had people who were just in love with the music, the dance, the atmosphere…it was one big party. I will say that Ruben Reyes force-fed me the music though. He was the one that made me listen to it all weekend long while we zipped down highways at 90 mph in his Dodge Intrepid (didn’t think I remembered did ya Ruben!?). Latin music (Spanish rock, bachata, merengue, and salsa) slowly became something that I loved to hear daily. After that, I needed to figure out how to express myself to the awesome music that I was listening to. On my way to doing that, I hung out with awesome people like Jonathan Rodriguez, Luis Delgadillo, and Abiel Gonzaga just to name a few. I kept a close eye on these guys whenever I was trying to level up in my salsa game.

What are your current favorite songs to dance to? Top two or three…

I really like Me Fallaste (Eddie Santiago), Tu con El (Frankie Ruiz), and Almohada (Tito Nieves). I came up in an era where salsa romantica was hittin’ hard, so that’s kinda what I like. I still love my hardcore mambos though.

Favorite local places to dance? (This may have changed over the past couple years).

I’m no stranger to going to the socials at Dallas Dance Studio, Clique, and Kumbala. I also like to get out to Maracas, Los Comales, and Los Lupes on Sundays (when possible).

Favorite congresses or festivals?

I love going to San Antonio for their Congresses/Festivals. Lee Rios, and his dance team Semeneya, always manage to host events that are tons of fun. From dodge ball to the Riverwalk, the BIG Salsa Festival in San Antonio checked all of the boxes for me. I also really like the BIG Salsa Festival in New York, along with the Houston Salsa Congress.

You and your girlfriend (Blanca Ramirez) seem like a very happy couple who enjoys the dance scene together – what ‘s one piece of advice you’d give to others about maintaining a strong relationship within the dance community?

My honey Blanca Ramirez…she’s amazing. I can’t put her into words. She’s always so supportive of me dancing, and she’s becoming quite the On2 dancer herself! But in regards to the question, no relationship is the same, so it would be foolish for me to even think that I would have an answer for that. All I can say is what people should already know…respect, encourage, support, trust, and love each other. I think that can take you a long way.

What’s one (or two) tips you’ve give to dancers who are thinking about performing?

One tip that I give people who are thinking about performing is to simply go for it! It also depends on the level of where you’re trying to take it. If you ARE, in fact, trying to take it to a professional level, be prepared to work. All of these professionals didn’t get on stage by snapping their fingers. They work long, tough hours perfecting their craft. Shout out to all of the directors, teachers, and full-time performers out there.

Dance video(s) you’d like to share?

Here are a few of my favorite videos to watch:


Dance Spotlight – Darrien Grays

Darrien Grays is featured in this edition of Dance Spotlight! He lives in DFW and was nominated by Mahshid Rosario-Pourjavad. She said, “He’s attends all the events and is always engaging and brings such a positive energy! And he social dances with EVERYONE!” Check out some fun facts about Darrien including his most memorable dance moment!

Want to nominate someone from your latin dance community? Contact us!

Where are you from?

I was born in Austin and raised in San Antonio. Once I graduated high school my family moved to Long Island, NY while I went to college in Abilene, Texas. However, by the time I graduated both my family and I had became Dallas residents (since 2010).  I’ve been here ever since!

Favorite dancers to watch and/or dance with?

If we are talking worldwide my current favorites to watch are Rodrigo Cortazar, Panigiotis, and Terry and Fadi – but I also rarely watch them.  I have many more favorites locally (Dallas)! I love watching couples like Johan and Alyssa Ibanez and amazing instructors like Jay Styles and Wander Rosario.

My favorite dancer to dance with though… is anyone who has lots of fun when they dance with a big smile!

Favorite socials/places to dance?

Dallas Dance Studio, Clique, Los Comales, Maracas, Stratos, Dancemakers, Los Lupes, Mexican Bar Co., Alpha Midway, Kumbala and Vidorra.

Dance Pet Peeve(s)?

Number one is not having fun! And that goes from experts all the way down to brand new beginners. If you aren’t having fun then it doesn’t matter how awesome or terrible you were. But if you have fun then I’ll forget and forgive pretty much all of the other dancer sins…except for maybe bad B/O and back leading!

Favorite dance performance moment?

San Francisco International Bachata Festival 2011! I know, most people know me as a salsero, but the first team I joined when I moved to Dallas was Roberto Lay’s “Rumba y Fuego” team.  Anyways, we were at tech rehearsal and they loved our routine so much they wanted us to close on Friday night! However, I shortly thereafter found out that a major part of my costume was left back home in Texas! However, as a team we were able to come up with enough items for a costume to make us all look the same (they wouldn’t let me be singled out). We then went to perform the routine and everyone loved it! Its my favorite performance not because it was my best but because it was only able to happen because we all worked together!

What’s one (or two) tips you’ve give to dancers who are thinking about performing?

The first tip I would give is to know “why” you’re performing. Everyone generally has different reasons for going to perform from becoming a better dancer, overcoming stage fright, making new friends, to working on their stage and social dance presence.  Regardless of your why, make sure you know what your why is and make sure to work hard to answer it!

The second tip to go right along with your “why” is to make sure you are having fun! Sometimes you will have to work hard to get to the fun stuff but if you aren’t having fun at all then recheck your “why”!

What are your current favorite songs to dance to? Top two or three…

  1. Mi Lindo Yambu – Sonora Pocena
  2. No Me Acostumbro – Rey Ruiz
  3. Idilio – Willie Colon

Favorite dance video you’d like to share?

I don’t really have recent good ones of me but this is a favorite of mine!

Dance Spotlight – Mahshid Rosario-Pourjavad

Mahshid Rosario-Pourjavad is featured in this edition of Dance Spotlight! She is from Ruston, Louisiana but has lived in DFW for about 15 years. She was nominated by Alyssa Ibanez.  Alyssa said, “She is always dancing all night long with anyone and everyone! She is also a great dancer in the community!” Check out some fun facts about Mahshid including her current favorite songs to dance to! Mahshid was nominated to be in the Dance Spotlight back in 2017 – so check out that post for more fun facts!

Want to nominate someone from your latin dance community? Contact us!

What’s your first memory of dancing salsa? (In class? With friends? At a social?)

This is a really tough one just because there are so many memories.  One that I find funny is when I was taking one of my first private lessons. I was learning about the music and how there are actual counts. The instructor had me close my eyes and would turn the music on and say, “OK, start on the 1.” Well I kept missing it – and he would just be like “wrong”.  I would start again and he’d say “wrong” again…this went on for a while! It took me some time to learn about the counts and how to understand the music, but these are the kind of memories that make me see how far I’ve come ?.

What (or who) originally inspired you to try Latin dancing?

I don’t think there is anything or anyone in particular. My ex and I had always talked about taking lessons and we never took the time to sign up and just do it! So finally I talked to some co-workers and said lets sign up for a month session – and we did. I was the only one that lasted the full 4 weeks! It’s all history from there!

What are your current favorite songs to dance to? Top two or three…

Let’s see if I can narrow to three…

(1) En Madrid by Una Gaviota

(2) Parecen Viernes by Marc Anthony

(3) Te Quiero by Maluma

(4) ALWAYS ANYTHING by Adolescentes!

Favorite local places to dance?

Isn’t it obvious?! Vidorra on Wednesdays and Maracas on Sundays ?. (Her husband, Wander Rosario, is a latin dance instructor and DJ and organizes both nights).

Favorite congresses or festivals in the US/World?

BIG Salsa Festival in New York has been my favorite in recent years and the first Providence Salsa Bachata Festival was this year.  It was smaller festival, but I really enjoyed it! There was great social dancing and the crowd for the shows were bringing the best energy ever!

Are there any new styles of dance that you’d like to try (West Coast Swing, East Coast Swing, Two step, etc.)?

Always!! Unfortunately finding the time is my issue but always wanted to!

Have you ever thought about performing?

For sure! I’m asked this all the time as well but (1) my time is already spread so thin, (2) maybe a few years back if I had started (I ain’t’ a spring chicken anymore, ha) and (3) when I travel to events I enjoy not having to deal with all that performers do because it’s my time away from work.

Dance video(s) you’d like to share?



How to Enjoy Dancing More: Part 2, Communicate

This is the follow-up to this post, so be sure to work through that first!

You might also want to revisit these questions periodically. Your dance boundaries are likely to change throughout your life, as your level, experiences, and perspectives change.

Now it’s time to consider how you can communicate about boundaries in a way that’s safe and beneficial for you. It might be intimidating at first, especially if you are in a dance scene without role models practicing this. I’ll admit, you might sometimes meet resistance. But in my experience, you’ll also find that very often people are happy to know what will give you a better dance experience. What’s more, you will become an example to others in your dance community who would also like to spend more time in their green zone of enthusiastic, enjoyable dancing!

While this article focuses on sharing your boundaries with others, let’s also keep in mind that it’s important to reciprocate by listening to and accommodating other dancers’ boundaries when we are able to. Respecting others’ boundaries means not harassing or shaming people for acting in a way that keeps them happy and healthy – and recognizing that will look different for different people in different situations.

My thanks go out again to Jeemin Kim of Latin Dancers for Consent & Safety for sharing the workshop material that inspired this series as well as valuable feedback on my writing.

Part II: Communicating Your Boundaries

Write down your answers to the questions in the first two sections individually, then discuss with a partner or group. For the role-play exercises, you’ll definitely want a few people to practice with! These can easily be adapted to community events and dance workshops as well.

E. Communicating Your Boundaries Before the Dance

If you have any particular non-negotiable boundaries that many other dancers in your scene do not, the best way to communicate them is verbally and before you start the dance. This is also a good strategy for when there’s some factor affecting your boundaries in that moment. Basically you ask if your potential dance partner is willing to adapt their dance to your comfort level before you both commit to dancing together.questions

For example:
“I don’t like dips, could we dance without them?”
“I don’t like to have any contact on my stomach, could you please avoid that?”
“I have an old ankle injury. Could we dance without multiple spins?”
“It’s really hot! Can we dance in open hold?”
“I am really tired, would you be up for a chill dance?”

Especially in scenes where setting boundaries is not common, it’s possible some partners might push back or feel threatened by your requests. You don’t need to give in or get into a conflict, but you could clarify that the request is personally important. If they’re not willing to accommodate your request, you can avoid a potentially stressful or unpleasant dance before it even starts.

Consider:
“I am not questioning your abilities, this is just what I need to feel good and enjoy the dance.”
“I am sure many other people are fine with it, but I am not. Would you still like to dance?”
“If dancing in close embrace is essential to you, let’s dance another time when we’re not so hot and sweaty.”

16. Look back at your non-negotiable boundaries from #14 (see Part I). Try creating a few introductory requests similar to the examples above–but make sure you phrase them in a way you would actually be ready to say. Imagine how you might continue the dialogue if they didn’t initially agree or tried to argue–or perhaps just how you’d end it, since the point is to enjoy your dances, not get into a conflict.

17. Look back at your variable boundaries from #15. Write a few examples of introductory requests, again similar to the examples above but in your own words. Imagine a particular context for it. Consider how you might disengage with a “thanks anyway!” or, if you’re feeling up for it, how you might hold your boundary even if they point out that you have at some previous times been fine with something else or if they have seen you act differently with another partner.

F. Communicating Your Boundaries During/After the Dance

It’s normal to feel reluctant to “bother” someone or “get into it” if they do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Studio dance culture in particular says that we shouldn’t “teach on the dance floor,” and it can feel like any criticism or feedback falls in that category. But letting someone know that you’re uncomfortable and requesting a change is offering them an opportunity to accommodate you, not dictating how they must dance.

In Part I we considered how, with practice, we can become sensitive to our boundaries and recognize the moment we edge into the yellow zone of discomfort or wariness. That’s the perfect moment to ask your partner to modify so that you can continue to enjoy dancing with them. If you wait until speaking up is “justified” by your being truly in pain or distress, then you are well into the red zone and it will be hard to come back to enjoying.

If your dance partner is willing to participate in this communication, you could both reap the benefits together: relishing the comfortable, happy green zone together and having much more connected, fun dances. Ideally, that interaction will go something like this:

– You make a request for a change, which might be verbal, nonverbal, or both, depending on the situation. For example, if someone is squeezing your hand or arm you might flex or shake it and/or say “Could you loosen your grip a bit please?”
(Check out this article on direct communication and this one on defensive dancing for some ideas.)

– Your partner acknowledges your request verbally or non-verbally and modifies accordingly.
“Oh, OK!” or “Really? Sorry!” or a facial expression and nod. A considerate partner may also ask “How about now?” or similar, with a raised eyebrow and eye contact.

– You can either confirm with a smile and nod or “Yes, that’s great, thank you!” or you can clarify your request: “Actually, it was about your thumb pressing, not the other fingers.”

– Repeat until you are both comfortable.

Of course, we don’t always have ideal interactions. If your partner ignores your requests, refuses to accommodate you, or just can’t understand what you mean, you can choose to remove yourself from the situation. Politely thank them for a dance and maybe for trying, then walk away. Remember, boundaries are about protecting yourself, not policing others. (Although hopefully your scene has a code of conduct with information about community standards!)

And to be fair, if removing your discomfort has now created an uncomfortable dancing situation for your partner, they could also choose to end the dance politely. Sometimes we just aren’t compatible in what we need or prefer. That doesn’t mean either of us is failing, just that it can’t work in those circumstances.

18. Looking at your variable boundaries from #15, imagine some ways you could ask for a modification so that you could get out of the yellow zone and return to the enjoyable green. Remember, these can be verbal, non-verbal, or both.

19. Looking at your non-negotiable boundaries from #14, imagine being in a dance where you realize you are in the red zone and want to end the dance. Create a few possible dialogues with words you feel you could actually say. In some situations or with some partners, you might feel comfortable making one (final) request or warning before walking away.

G. Role-play Exercises

Partner up with another dancer or get a small group together. Using your answers from the questions above, practice these interactions. It might feel silly or scripted, but this kind of practice helps it become normal and comfortable to speak up or take action when it’s relevant. It’s also great practice for accepting others’ boundaries and not taking rejection personally.

See question #16.
a. When your partner asks you for a dance, share a request about a non-negotiable boundary.
b. Ask your partner for a dance with a request about a non-negotiable boundary.
Try it out with your partner sometimes agreeing to your request and sometimes saying they can’t accommodate it. Swap roles and try again as many times as you like.

See question #17.
a. When your partner asks you for a dance, share a request about a variable boundary.
b. Ask your partner for a dance with a request about a variable boundary.
Try it out with your partner giving you both positive and negative responses. Swap roles and try again as many times as you like.

See question #18.
Practice asking for a change or giving a warning during the dance. You might need to explain to your partner in advance what situation you have imagined for the role-play, especially for contexts suited to nonverbal communication. Keep in mind that this isn’t necessarily about giving someone feedback about their dancing, but rather sharing what you need in order to feel good about continuing to dance with them. Again, try a few different situations and swap the roles. Here are a few examples:
a. “Could we please press pause on the conversation and just focus on the dance?”
b. Your partner is holding your hand too tightly. Flex your hand a few times, maybe looking at it to draw their attention. They relax for a little while, but then grip it tightly again. Pull your hand down and free.
c. Your partner is leaning their head in, seeking forehead contact. Pull your head back, but don’t put yourself in an untenable position. They lean farther in. Pull your upper body away a bit (or step out of hold), make eye contact, and say, “I don’t want head contact (right now).”
d. Your partner’s arm or hand is tending to wrap around you too intimately, maybe around your neck (leader) or the side of your chest or down to your belt (follower). Use a hand to pull or push the offending arm or hand back to a place that is comfortable for you.

See question #19.
Practice ending the dance after a boundary has been crossed. Practice verbal and nonverbal options that are relevant to your imagined situations or past experiences. Be sure to try several ways and swap roles. Here are a few ideas:traffic light

a. Make eye contact, stop dancing, say “Thank you” with a smile, then walk off the dance floor.
b. Say, “I just realized I’m feeling ____ and I need to stop. Thank you.” Then walk away.
c. Step away from your partner, make an apologetic gesture and expression, and walk off the dance floor.
d. Break the hold by pushing out of the frame, say “Thank you, but I’m sorry, I need some space/a break,” and walk away.
e. Say, “I don’t tolerate _____” and walk away. (This is best for a situation when the partner has violated community standards or otherwise acted with a deliberate lack of respect.)

What’s Next?

The more you practice this kind of communication, the more natural it will feel. Be patient with yourself. Even after years of working on this and encouraging others to do so, I still sometimes find myself noticing I’m uncomfortable and yet reluctant to speak up and get myself out of that yellow zone. I do sometimes just use defensive dancing techniques and wait for the end of the song to excuse myself. You will need to find your own way of dealing with your discomfort on the one hand and whatever social pressure you feel on the other hand.

Every time you successfully communicate about your boundaries, you are prioritizing dancing in a way that’s enjoyable for you. And you not only get to enjoy your dancing more—you improve your communication skills and set an example in your community. You may even discover more and more dancers welcoming and valuing this communication!

Dance Spotlight – Alyssa Ibanez

Alyssa Ibanez is featured in this edition of Dance Spotlight! She lives in DFW and was nominated by Jocelyn Espinoza.  She said, “She is my Salsa instructor and she has helped me grow so much in one year. She is dedicated to her students and has a passion for Latin dance.” Check out some fun facts about Alyssa including her favorite dance moment!

Want to nominate someone from your latin dance community? Contact us!

Where are you from?

I’m from San Antonio and moved to Dallas when I was 11.

Favorite dancers to watch and/or dance with?

My favorite dancers to watch are Griselle Ponce and Jessica Patella. My favorite people to dance with would be my husband Johan Ibanez Vasquez (of course), Ernesto Bulnes, and anyone else that smiles and laughs while we enjoy yo the music!

Favorite socials/places to dance?

We have a new studio that is very comfortable so first I would say Dallas Dance studio. However, I really love going to any social or dance spot really  as long as there is music and good company then its always a blast whenever I can get out.

Dance Pet Peeve: (Hygiene, No connection, People who teach while dancing, etc)

I really don’t like when the lead or follow does not look in the dance partners direction. You can look at the hands or in the same direction at least. You ask them to dance or said yes so make sure you enjoy dancing with them by making eye contact and a smiling! Also, I don’t think anyone should teach on the dance floor!

Favorite dance moment from your career as an instructor/performer?

My favorite dance moment would be the first time Johan and I did our first solo routine together. I was on cloud nine and all the people we know were there cheering us on.

You had a child recently, what’s one piece of advice you’d give them about dancing in the future?

If you’re passionate about dance then put your whole heart into it because its your moment to express yourself.

Favorite dance video you’d like to share?

Dance Spotlight – Alice Nahapetyan

Alice Nahapetyan is featured in this edition of Dance Spotlight! She lives in DFW and was nominated by Osvaldo Luna.  He said, “I’ve never seen anyone learn as fast as her! She is really fun to dance with.” Check out some fun facts about Alice including her favorite places to dance! Want to nominate someone? Contact us!

Where are you from?

I live in Frisco, Texas. I was born and raised in Yerevan, Armenia.

Favorite dancers to watch and/or dance with?

I really enjoy dancing with my dance friends from Studio 22. Since we all have been taking classes there, we all have similar style and understand each other better on the dance floor. On the other hand, I love challenging myself by dancing with advanced dancers and instructors. This helps me to continuously improve my dancing skills.

Favorite socials/places to dance?

Some of my favorite places to dance are Clique Studio, Dallas Dance Studio, Latin Dance Project Studio, Los Lupes Sundays and Salsa in the park at Klyde Warren Park.

Dance Pet Peeve: (Hygiene, No connection, People who teach while dancing, etc)

My dance pet peeve is when the leads are dancing off the count. No musicality, no rythmn, no connection makes the worst dance.

Favorite dance moment?

Dancing to the music, throwing in some random moves and smiling your way through the dance.

Favorite dance genre?

My favorite dance genre is Salsa! I mean Salsa is life! I love the music and the energy of the dance. I also enjoy bachata, jive and other ballroom dances.

What movie title describes your attitude while dancing? Why?

Footloose. The movie highlights the importance to dance and be yourself and how it makes you happy. That is exactly how I feel when I dance.

Favorite dance video you’d like to share?

I love watching Riccardo & Yulia videos. They are incredible!

Dance Spotlight – Jocelyn Espinoza

Jocelyn Espinoza is featured in this edition of Dance Spotlight! She lives in Dallas/Fort Worth and was nominated by Junior Villarreal.  He said, “I’ve seen the tears, sweat, pain and work she has put in to becoming the dancer she is today and she is always striving to learn more and become a more well rounded dancer!” Check out some fun facts about Jocelyn including her favorite dancers! Want to nominate someone? Contact us!

Where are you from?

I am from Mexico. Cuidad Juarez, Chihuahua to be more specific.

Favorite dancers to watch and/or dance with?

I love to watch Johan and Alyssa Ibanez dance.  And I like to dance with Johan, Junior Villarreal and Van Sanders.

Favorite socials/places to dance?

 My favorite social is Johan and Alyssa’s social at the Dallas Dance Studio. Another social and place would be the Ft. Worth Pura social at Dance Makers.

Dance Pet Peeve: (Hygiene, No connection, People who teach while dancing, etc)

When the lead talks throughout the entire song and when they feel the need to correct a follow in the middle of the dancer floor instead of enjoying the dance.

Favorite dance moment?

Walking off stage after performing with my team.

Favorite dance genre?

Salsa & latin fusion.

What movie title describes your attitude while dancing? Why?

“Bring it on.” For a long time, I was so terrified to dance specially at a social. It was very intimidating to ask someone to dance and to have people watch me dance. But now that I am learning and have a better understanding of what salsa basics are… I walk into socials with that “bring it!” attitude. I look forward to asking leads out to dance that are in a higher level than I am. I like that push.

Favorite dance video you’d like to share?